In my culture...

As a girl child, often enough, I am not a welcome addition

That is if I am not killed before I am even born.

I am labelled a burden, sometimes even a curse and treated differently.

And my brothers always get priority in everything.

Growing up, I don’t have an identity to call my own.

My thoughts, my hopes, my dreams have no voice.

I am someone’s daughter, someone’s sister

Until I become someone else’s wife and mother

In my culture  

As a wife and a mother, the expectations are endless

Its overwhelming, to juggle between home and a job to make ends meet

Yet I am a non-entity who is never appreciated

My needs, my wants, go unnoticed.

I am expected to always respect and serve my husband

Live by his rules, no questions asked

Keep fasts for his long life and treat him like a God

Irrespective of how he chooses to treat me

Any wonder then, I feel used and abused, dead inside

Trapped like a caged bird, with broken wings

Broken spirit, unable to fly and live my dreams

Just because I am a woman

In my culture

We need to break free from this repeated cycle

By treating our sons and daughters equally

Give both the same importance in all aspects of life.

It is after all their birth right - male or female.

If we have been meek and afraid to voice our opinions

Our daughters need to be different, strong and confident

Courageous to break free if not treated with dignity

And stand strong for what they believe in

Let us teach our sons to treat women with love and respect

Just as they would want to be treated

And the importance of walking side by side as equals

Tread life’s path together with pride in each other

In my culture….

Woman to woman lets shatter the silence and voice our discontent

Let’s not subject our daughters to what we have had to endure

Together we have the resilience to bring about change

Start by welcoming the girl child with open arms 

She too is human, more vulnerable, when she is not nurtured

Make her feel valued, worthy to live life on her terms

Give her reason to hope, to aspire to live her dreams.

Don’t victimise her for being born a girl

Today’s girl child….give her a tomorrow worth living

Time for change

Ever since I found out about a raw food diet that seemed to be doing wonders for people, I was raring to go.

So there I was on Sunday night, packing what I could, to take for lunch the next day.

The first thing I did, come Monday morning was to check my weight. I always close my eyes and step on it very gently, for one thing, I didn’t really want to know, but I needed to and secondly, given my size, the scale might actually break.

I nearly died! No, the scale didn’t break, but the numbers it showed, made me cringe. No wait, that can’t be right, the scale has been tampered with and I look again, but the scale doesn’t lie! What the heck I have been eating to get to this point.

Now I definitely need to stick to my plan.

My lunch bag is bulging with goodness but it weighs a ton with the number of containers; there is fruit in one, salad in the other, cut veggies in the third, a banana, a pear and an orange, just in case. Of course I also have almonds at my desk to help handle hunger pangs.

Seriously, I am not doing any manual labour and I am out of the house for about eight hours only, so how much would my stomach need?

I have an ample amount of stored fat to burn and will not starve to death, but it’s reassuring to know that I have enough and more, to keep me going!

As I walk into the office building, I see a young skinny girl, her handbag on her shoulder and a small lunch bag in the other. I am thinking, that bag probably has place for just a sandwich or salad if at all, which explains her size! The contents of my lunch bag would probably last her a week!

All in all, the morning goes well. I miss starting my day with a peanut butter sandwich followed by herbal tea, but for today, the tea will have to suffice. I wallop down my salad at lunch time and I am drinking loads and loads of water. Yes, that’s a good thing, except that I have to make endless trips to the washroom. No worries, I am getting rid of toxins galore!

By 4pm I have a massive headache. I am hungry, tired and I want my mommy!  I imagine her looking down from Heaven shaking her head and telling me to stop the pity party.

I also don’t want to go to the gym, because all I have eaten is food for rabbits and seriously there are no calories in that to burn! Then again all that accumulated fat that has found a seemingly permanent home in my stomach, needs to be given its eviction notice!

Once home, I am falling apart and my head is pounding. I don’t want to look at any raw food or nuts, darn, I am going nuts here myself and I’ve just about had it.

I breathe, long deep breathes and remind myself that it will get better. My stomach has been given a rude awakening and is rumbling, with complaints of negligence.

I so want this day to end, so I take a shower, followed by a Tylenol with a warm glass of water and go to bed.

Needless to say, my dreams are all food related…..

Oops…a case of mistaken identity.

I find grocery shopping at the weekend to be a very frustrating affair.

It is total mayhem, mainly because it has become a family affair. The whole of Brampton is at Walmart, and this includes, parents, grandparents, kids in strollers, 3-year-olds running around screaming - the works!

As if that isn’t enough, then you have rude and inconsiderate shoppers who randomly block the aisles with their overloaded trolleys, while they browse for items on the shelf.

Many times I have to leave my trolley in a corner, out of everyone’s way and zig-zag through the aisle to pick up what I want.

Last weekend was no different, except that when I came back to my trolley again, after filling it up with a few canned tins of beans and corn, I didn’t see the box of salad leaves that I had put in earlier. Wait, where was the chicken tray? Had I intended to pick it up but didn’t? Was I losing my mind?

Oh no! I was filling up someone else’s cart!!

I looked around, rather embarrassed by what was really an honest mistake of wheeling around a cart that wasn’t even mine! I had no clue as to where exactly I had picked it from, so I silently apologised to what must have been a frustrated shopper somewhere and left it on a side. I picked up the few items in my hands and went looking around for my cart.

It took a while before I could figure out where I had left it and thankfully, it was still there, looking a little lost and lonely, outside the aisle that stocks cookies and snacks. But of course, where else!

I grabbed and hung onto it for dear life till I paid for my groceries and walked with the cart to my car.

To the frustrated shopper who was looking for his/her cart….sorry,  but I hope you found it by the bakery section.

A mother's love...

She gives of herself

Totally

Her love unconditional

Her words gentle

Sometimes stern,

But always encouraging

She knows your heart

Better

Than you do

Your hopes, dreams

She wants the best

For you

Her hugs, her kisses

Heartwarming

Shields you

With her warm embrace

Keeps you safe

From harm’s way

A mother’s love

Unique

Cherish the moments

The bliss

Before they become

Just memories…