It is often the children who suffer the most when a marriage falls apart. Irrespective of how old they are, it is traumatic and can scar them for life. Infact at times they are so affected, that more often than not, it impacts their own future relationships with others.
Needless to say, everyone suffers!
I have recently been what I term as the ‘shoulder to cry on’ for two of my dear friends, who are going through a heart breaking separation from their spouses.
There is a whirlpool of emotions, where there was once love - anger, bitterness, sadness, tears and pain. While I am being as supportive as possible, I can’t help but wonder, what happened to ‘till death do us part?”
When two individuals enter the sanctity of marriage, it is with the hope and promise of sharing a future and staying together despite life’s ups and downs. It is about togetherness and yet maintaining your individuality. It is about agreeing to disagree at times, but still being adult enough to handle it, being able to say sorry when you are wrong and not letting your ego get in the way.
When two people get married, it is in the hope of finding companionship and happiness. Yet let’s not forget that you have to work hard to find happiness. It takes patience, maturity and a willingness to accept another and look beyond the pettiness.
Let’s face it, everyone has their share of faults and it is easy to be blinded to them, when you are in love and see life through rose tinted glasses.
What is worse is when lovers suddenly become strangers, when soft, sweet words are replaced by harsh outbursts and hatred replaces where love once was.
Would it help, if in times of anger one stopped a while and remembered the good times, the caring, the sharing, the fun and laughs? Would it give hope to the dying embers and give the flames of love a chance to rise again?
We all want love, companionship, peace and happiness in our lives. Yet ‘happily ever after’ is more applicable to story books than to the reality of life and has nothing to do with sheer luck either.
Maintaining a marriage is hard work that requires tons of patience and perseverance, from both the individuals who have to work in tandem, to survive the hurdles along the way.
Unfortunately, it is easier said than done. Some survive the pitfalls, others give up, because of their own misconstrued expectations or because it is more than they can handle.
Sad isn’t it?
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